Woman writes 1000 words of poetry for new friend who is struggling, gets upset when she doesn't accept the gift: 'That's how I show love'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 24, 2026 1:15 PM EDT

What is the best gift we can offer to a friend in need?

Many of us like to think of ourselves as thoughtful and caring when it comes to our friends, but it is not uncommon for us to misjudge our abilities of friendship. We assume that we have their best interests at heart, but we're actually thinking more of ourselves, or maybe we are just plain selfish when there was no need to be.

There is a tendency to assume that someone we care about will appreciate a gesture just because it exists, or just because we made it. In reality, things do not always work out that way. If a person is experiencing something difficult and they receive something unwanted, they may not give the gift-giver the reaction that they were hoping for. At worst, this thing that they put effort into will just be seen as an inconvenience, something that distracts from the more important priority of dealing with whatever it is that they are going through. While being thought about should be a nice and wholesome experience, it doesn't always happen the way you think it will in your head. In fact, it can end up bringing added tension into relationships if you are not careful.

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  • A representation of a woman's hand holding a pen above an open notebook, with other books beside her
    via Hannah Olinger

    A representation of a woman's hand holding a pen above an open notebook, with other books beside her

  • Creativity can be a wonderful trait to have, but not everybody is going to appreciate somebody else's particular brand of it. This is something that one woman learned the hard way after making a friend who had a daughter the same age as her. 

    She believed that the relationship was going well, and she wanted to do something kind for her after learning that she was going through a difficult time. She decided that the best thing she could offer was a handwritten, 1,000-word collection of fiction and poetry that showcased her own creative skills.

    Unfortunately for her, the friend didn't appreciate this gesture, saying that it was strange and that she wouldn't have time to read it. The woman was completely crestfallen, but the wider internet was split as to whether her behavior had been appropriate in the first place.

  • maddie rune @themaddierune Made a new friend, our daughters are the same age, I loved her company. She was going through something hard, so I handwrote her 1,000 words of original poetry/fiction, because that's how I show love...I'm a deeply creative person. She said she didn't have time to read it, called it weird, and didn't even take it. My soul left my body, reentered my body just to die again, and am now watching my own embarrassment from a small cloud above my house. Adult female friendshi
    via themaddierune
  • Grimes @Grimezsz Replying to @themaddierune This isn't embarrassing - if she's a mom she might be burnt out and exhausted - but in general female friendship seems complex confusing and difficult and better systems need to be constructed or some sort of explanation abt how to engage with women wud be useful....
    via Grimezsz
  • sullivan nolan ❤ @sullivannolan Replying to @themaddierune One of the saddest things is how many would be deeply touched by such a gesture but for whatever reason the giver and receiver rarely seem to meet
    via sull1vannolan
  • Autumn Chri i @teachrobotslove Replying to @themaddierune I told a new friend once I was putting her into a story I was writing, and she yelled at me and said she wasn't going to be my muse. Some people are just deeply embarrassed and it makes them feel vulnerable to be seen, so they project it outward that you're doing something wrong.
    via teachrobotslove
  • Forth Consciousness is Shivjyoti @ShivjyotiLoka Replying to @themaddierune Maybe she felt it would put her under a sort of obligation. We don't always know what others are feeling but you shouldn't feel bad for putting your heart out there. Did you say it's your way of showing care and she can read it whenever she wants, one day it might mean a lot.
    via ShivjyotiLoka
  • A representation of a woman sitting in a coffee shop, writing something in a notebook with other books beside her
    via Hannah Olinger

    A representation of a woman sitting in a coffee shop, writing something in a notebook with other books beside her

  • Black Archie Charac... @ppppp1245688 I understand that's how you express yourself but this is a "new" friend that you don't know well enough. What you did was genuine, but because you didn't know exactly what made her feel comfort, your act served you rather than her. Gifts has the fit the other person's prefrences.
    via ppppp1245688
  • æsc Y @mothertopixies I'm really sorry to say that yes, that is really weird
    via mothertopixies
  • kelsie @iPad_Latino I know everyone's frothing for my take on this, which is the gesture is a little strange and maybe self indulgent however you politely accept the gift and try not to insult the giver where possible. That is how you are supposed to interact with people.
    via iPad_Latino
  • umami @u_m_a_m_i Never force your art onto people and expect a reaction. Art is found, searched by those looking for it. If they want to see it they will ask.
    via u_m_a_m_j
  • Mr. Fight Meat man @Meatfighterr "I'm so sorry you're going through that, here's 1000 words of poetry" jffjdjjswjsjsjsjakskwkwjsjxjdjsjjs
    via Meatfighterr
  • Extra Strength Tyl... ❤ @MissesDread Honey, 1,000 handwritten words is for when one of you is dong after a decades long friendship, not for a woman you are still getting to know who is going through a crisis.
    via MissesDread
  • alexandra scaggs ✪ @alexandrascaggs honestly i think it's nice that her friends before her 30s were down for this kind of thing. sounds like something i might have done at age 11/12 and had my social life ruined for months if not years
    via alexandrascaggs
  • Yons @Yonesfak Sometimes you guys do too much and don't actually care what said person would need in times of hardship. That's how I show love. Girl, did you consider ASKING this friend how you could best show up for them???? F she gonna do with poems
    via Yonesfak
  • Lana del Rey Summ... @LDRCum Laude Your main character syndrome (insisting on a self centered, straight up useless way to show support for someone that needs it) ruins your relationships with people and I can't believe you're this old and you haven't noticed that
    via LDRCmLaude
  • ⚫LOYL thing. @stridilus Women in male-dominated fields. Wdym you did this high-effort thing for someone but you refused to find out beforehand if that was something they would have any interest in for this situation? And then shocked it went over poorly?
    via stridilus
  • BIG LIBRA @venusianhunty I feel like if someone gave me a letter i would cry ngl. I used ti write letters to my friends all the time in school. I understand not everyone feels the same but its not weird imo people just need a chance to learn about each other.
    via venusianhunty

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friendship embarrassing discourse poetry
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